“Safer Braver Space” (SBS) is an essential part of community gatherings, places, events, and constellations of intentional relationships and is grounded in exquisite presence and care for all who attend LLR events. The intention is to foster liberation from the reproduction of harmful privileged and oppressive patterns all too often encountered within the fading uber-culture. SBS is about co-created and co-held containers of experience in which authentic, genuine, and whole selves are invited to be involved in complex culture-making. The foundation of a SBS is one in which power (rooted in the meaning: “to be able to”) is made visible and consciously tended as a shared resource. A priority within SBS is to function from a power-with orientation. This means that consent, clear communication, naming harm, self-responsibility, integrity, and accountability are all integral elements.

LLR chooses to say “Safer Braver Space” rather than simply “safe space” because we acknowledge that no space is entirely “safe” for everyone despite concerted effort, for many reasons. One reason is that “safety” is relative and subjective to each person, and another is that sometimes participants who attend are not learned, familiar, able, or willing to enact power-with and anti-oppression engagement, and may need to be called-in to greater understanding and responsibility.

Sadly, and through no fault of their own, many people who attend the events and gatherings of the LLR are also survivors of harm in many different ways. SBS takes into account that survivors are present in the space, and functions to support them and their well-being by asking everyone to level up in their trauma-informed engagement. SBS asks all participants to remember that trauma lives in a person’s biology/body, and is never a choice. Cultivating SBS means we collectively take into account that situations and moments arise that necessitate particular kinds of support for trauma survivors.

That being said, safety is not the same as comfort. Within the container, there may be instances in which a participant experiences discomfort with regards to having a philosophy, value, or opinion challenged by another. In addition, the conversations that are necessary to intervene upon and confront someone’s (maybe even yours) oppressive and non-consensual behavior, may likely induce discomfort for many involved. In these kinds of situations, we ask for people to bravely engage the discomfort, with or without allyship and other forms of support.

“there is no such thing as a safe space. we exist in a real world and we all carry scars and have caused wounds. this space seeks to turn down the volume of the world outside and amplify the voices that have to fight to be heard elsewhere. this space will not be perfect. it will not always be what we wish it to be, but it will be ours together and we will work on it side by side.” – the sp(a)ce* phx, az

When someone’s inherent experience as a human being is denied, threatened, or attacked, or when their ability to have authorship of their autonomy is ignored, diminished, or erased, that is an issue of physical safety, and will not be tolerated. Protocols for these situations are in place and will be enacted by the LLR Aphrodite Temple team if and when initiated by participants. What will be enacted will be rooted in proportionate response on a case by case situational assessment.

As the organizers of LLR events, we are especially focused with sexual ethics and etiquette and issues around consent regarding physical touch. We also hold our identities as Priestesses of Aphrodite to be concerned with embodying and enacting the values of sexual sovereignty/sexual autonomy and wildness. For us, Priestessing requires constellational thinking, a belief in the sacredness of ourselves and others, and a desire to extend empathy and compassion to others. Consent is essential to building community and embodying the values of LLR and SBS. Consent is two (or more) autonomous adults deciding together to do the same thing, at the same time, in the same way with each other—whether it is physical, verbal, or sexual. It is the presence of a clear “yes,” not the absence of a “no.”

LLR Definition of Consent

We are choosing to adopt four principles for evaluating consent as valid given by ethicist Morten Ebbe Juul Nielson (“Safe, Sane and Consensual—Consent and the Ethics of BDSM,” The International Journal of Applied Philosophy 24:2 (2010): 265-288). Nielson asserts that consent draws its moral force from the idea that individual freedom and autonomy is a basic human right and cannot be given to acts that destroy autonomy. 

For consent to be valid it must:

1. Be Informed, with both (or all), parties fully understanding the activities they are agreeing to perform and their risks;
2. Must be whole-hearted and intentional (“enthusiastic”), not being used as a bargaining chip;
3. Consent must be voluntary, not compromised by the threat of force or harm;
4. Consenting individuals must be competent (not intoxicated, under extreme emotional duress, underage, etc).

For the purposes of this LLR Aphrodite Temple, consent also may not be obtained while the persons involved are doing trance work, invoked as deity, or in the middle of a ritual process. Consent must be obtained before initiating these processes.

Tips for Creating SBS

1. Respect your own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual autonomy and boundaries:
   • Stay attuned to your own needs.
   • If something doesn’t feel right to you, please seek support from the Anchor, or a member of the Priestess Body. 
   • If you don’t want to talk or answer a question, say so. Don’t wait for someone to “get the hint.” Try to vocalize what you need.
   • Be self-tending whenever possible. Speak to the person you have a concern with and be direct about what behaviors did not work for you. If you need help negotiating a situation, find the Anchor a member of the Priestess Body to assist you.
2. Respect others’ physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual autonomy and boundaries.
   • Always ask for explicit verbal consent before engaging or touching someone. Never assume consent, especially if substances use/magical space is involved. People whose consciousness is altered are always considered non-consenting.
   • Don’t assume the race, sexuality, gender, history with violence, etc., of others. Instead, ask if someone is open to engaging in dialogue about identity. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to answer a question, share an activity, touch, etc. 
3. LLR Events create cooperative learning environments:
   • We are all here to learn, and we all have something to offer.
   • Everyone (including you) will make unintentional mistakes.
   • Be aware of the effects of your behavior on others, and accept responsibility for it. Remember, intent is not the same as impact.
   • Expect to be called out or in by others if you make a mistake in noticing your privilege or space-taking. Make efforts to step back, listen, and learn from those with different experiences from your own. Microaggressions and expressions of fragility (tone-policing, for example) towards, and entitlement to emotional labor from, members of marginalized or traditionally oppressed groups of people are not acceptable. Be willing to own, apologize, and repair. Guardian team members have protocols for conflict resolution and mediations to share with you in your efforts to responsibly own your behavior.

Attributions:  

This Safer Braver Space Policy was co-created for Living Love Revolution (LLR) by rain crowe of Calling Ourselves Home and Reverend Teri D. Ciacchi, MSW and adapted for Aphrodite Temples by Helena Palmqvist De Felice. Full author attributions are given at the end of this policy. This handbook is the intellectual property of Interdependence & Autonomy, LLC. All rights reserved. Not for reproduction without the express written consent of I&A LLC. 

This work is the intellectual property of those persons named here and should not be used or reproduced without the explicit written permission of those named.

*With gratitude and attribution to saferspacenyc & TWAC Anti-Oppression Policy for supporting language and framing for this policy.  rain crowe 2/8/2017

With edits and addition of Morten Ebbe Juul Nielson’s definition of consent. Gratitude for the works of Tai Fenix Kulystin, Betty Martin, Christine Hoff Kraemer & Yvonne Aburrow.

Teri D. Ciacchi 2/28/2017  With edits by Helena Palmqvist De Felice 5/24/2019 format edited 2/1/2022 by Teri D. Ciacchi